The difference between your and you're

Ok, this one should be simple, yet it's a mistake I see WAY too often! 
If you can substitute 'You Are' then use You're.  If you can't then it's Your. 

Your is a possessive: 
Is that your dog?
Your eyes are pretty.
Your grammar is lacking.

You're is a contraction of You and Are:
You're so stupid
Do you know if you're going to the party?

It make take 2 extra seconds to think it out, but please take the time!  Otherwise you WILL be judged and mocked!

When to use 'dreamed' vs. 'dreamt'

According to many sources both are correct. "Dreamed" is more common in American English, while "dreamt" is more common in British English usage. In either case it is the past tense of the verb "to dream." I personally think that 'dreamt' sounds better and I'll continue to use it...although maybe I'll add a British accent!

Swallowed chewing gum does NOT stay in your stomach for 7 years

This is a complete and total myth. Some of the ingredients in gum are indigestible, and like any indigestible substance that is consumed (marbles, coins, jewelry), it will simply pass through the gastrointestinal tract and be evacuated.  Although, the good news is you do not need to search through the evidence to make sure the gum has passed like you would some other indigestible items.  The digestible ingredients in gum do not take any longer than other foods to digest. And the indigestible portion does not "stick" around one's intestines for years.

'A' and 'Lot' are two separate words

This one should be easy.  Alot is NOT a word.  If you have a whole bunch of something, you have A LOT.  If you hand in a paper and don't want to see a big red slash through the middle of what you thought was a word then please start separating them.  A lot. A lot. A lot.

It is NOT pronounced Supposably

This is one of my favorite clips from Friends.  The very last few seconds in particular.  I remember laughing so hard it hurt....and since then I've met several individuals that make the same mistake!
The correct spelling is: SUPPOSEDLY  There is NO 'B' in it!!!

http://youtu.be/5z0Gitlj9bM

There actually IS a correct use of the word Supposebly (capable of being supposed), but most people, including myself have no clue what it is.  So my advice is: Don't use it!!

The difference between baking soda and baking powder

I'm not even going to try to put this into my own words....there's a whole lotta science going on.
Here's the difference between baking soda and baking powder as found on Answer.com:

Both baking soda and baking powder are leavening agents, which means they are added to baked goods before cooking to produce carbon dioxide and cause them to 'rise'. Baking powder contains baking soda, but the two substances are used under different conditions.
Baking Soda
Baking soda is pure sodium bicarbonate. When baking soda is combined with moisture and an acidic ingredient (e.g., yogurt, chocolate, buttermilk, honey), the resulting chemical reaction produces bubbles of carbon dioxide that expand under oven temperatures, causing baked goods to rise. The reaction begins immediately upon mixing the ingredients, so you need to bake recipes which call for baking soda immediately, or else they will fall flat!
Baking Powder
Baking powder contains sodium bicarbonate, but it includes the acidifying agent already (cream of tartar), and also a drying agent (usually starch). Baking powder is available as single-acting baking powder and as double-acting baking powder. Single-acting powders are activated by moisture, so you must bake recipes which include this product immediately after mixing. Double-acting powders react in two phases and can stand for a while before baking. With double-acting powder, some gas is released at room temperature when the powder is added to dough, but the majority of the gas is released after the temperature of the dough increases in the oven.

"I seen that" is never, ever, ever an acceptable sentence

The first time I remember hearing this sentence was while working in a certain city....where I heard it a LOT.  These were college educated people working in a business setting.  I stopped trying to correct anyone because they all seemed to have forgotten what they learned in school and just gave me blank stares.  (I suppose it was also because it's kinda bitchy to correct people's grammar all the time!)

I left that job several years ago and the offensive sentence seems to have followed me.  There was even an instance that my own husband seemed to have uttered these words although he swears we just didn't hear the 'have', as in 'I have seen that'.  It's still up for debate. 

You are welcome to use the phrases "I have seen..." or "I had seen...", but do NOT under any circumstances leave out these verbs.  Seen is the past participle of the word See.   The past participle is used generally as an adjective describing a finished action.   The word Seen NEEDS its verb!  I don't require that you remember all of the rules, just that you say it correctly to save me from the evil chills that run down my spine when the wrong words are uttered.

The difference between its and it's

This is the first of what I'll refer to as the 'apostrophe posts'.  There are three, specifically that I need to address, though I'm sure more will arise as I ponder it.

So lets start with the shortest one. Its or It's.
Its is the possessive form of the word It. Now this one may be a tiny bit more confusing because virtually every other word in the English language uses the 's to indicate the possessive. 
It's is the abbreviation of It is or It has.  The rule is that if you can replace the word with "it is" or "it has," use it's. Otherwise, it's always its.

Petite clothing sizes are about height not weight

This one has always bothered me, but even more so lately after hearing a certain weight loss commercial on the radio.  The woman in the ad says that after losing weight she was shopping in a department store and the saleswoman told her she belonged in the petite department.  First of all, I hope the newly skinny woman wasn't too tall, because nothing there would fit her.  Secondly, I hope the salesgirl gets fired for being an idiot.

The word petite itself does mean small and delicately built.  However, petite clothing sizes are for women 5'3" or shorter and do not take into account the weight of the wearer. 

Trust me.  I'm fat AND petite...I know what I'm talking about!!

The correct use of the word 'literally'

The basic definition of Literally is: actually, without exaggeration.  So why oh why do people continue to use it to embellish what they are saying?  When you say "I literally..." it means you are describing something EXACTLY as it happened.  You are being LITERAL!

Let's see if you can identify the sentences where it is used correctly.

1. I laughed so hard that I literally wet my pants.
2. I literally dropped dead when I heard.
3. She literally ate the whole cake.
4. He was literally flying down the road.

#1. DID you actually pee in your pants?  If so, then it's correct. If you just laughed really hard and no urine was passed, then No, not correct usage!
#2  If you literally dropped dead, then how are you speaking?  Not correct.
#3  This one kind of depends on your friend.  Or the size of the cake.  Did she really eat the whole thing, every last crumb?  Then: Correct. Did she just eat a whole lot of it and you're angry that you didn't get enough?  Then: probably incorrect, and you need to get over it.
#4  Was he in a plane?  Did he sprout wings?  No?  Then, Incorrect.  But he should probably slow down.

Basic facts about the United States' government

I myself am guilty of a tad bit of ignorance in this category. So, I'm just going to share a few facts and then we'll all know and can discuss it all intelligently!

Q: What is the supreme law of the land?
A: The Constitution

Q: What is the length of a U.S. Senator's term?
A: 6 years

Q: How many supreme court justices are on the bench?
A: 9

Q: How many members of the U.S. House of Representatives?
A: 435

Q: What is the opening phrase of the constitution?
A: "We the people..."
(PLEASE tell me you at least knew that one!?!)

Q: What is the age requirement to be elected president?
A: 35

Test your knowledge of the Constitution here:
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/112_Congress/page?id=12529211

I'm just a tiny bit ashamed to admit that I did horribly!! Being that my father was a social studies and history teacher, I don't think I'll tell him.

Feel free to add some more facts that you feel should be common knowledge in the comment section.

There are two correct pronunciations of the word 'often'

This one bothers me because I was corrected, so I felt it was my duty to prove that I was, in fact, right!  Pronouncing the word often with or without the 't' sound is correct. Either way is acceptable.  So there!!
of·ten (ôf′ən, ôf′-tən)

Same goes for the word 'mauve'
mauve (mōv, môv)

and 'coupon'
coupon (koo-pon, kyoo-pon)

The correct time to use the phrase "I could care less"

NEVER.  That's when!  Taken literally, if one could care less, then one must care at least a little, which is obviously the opposite of what is meant. The correct way to state it is, "I COULDN'T care less".  As in, "I could not possibly care any less about what you're saying".

Apparently the phrase is originally British and first appeared in print in 1946.  It made its way to the US in the 1950s where we Yanks seem to have completely screwed it up!

In October 1960 the argument showed up in a letter to Ann Landers. A reader wanted Ann to settle a dispute with his girlfriend: "You know that common expression: I couldn't care less?" he wrote. "Well, she says it: I COULD care less."  Ann voted with her reader: "the expression as I understand it is: I couldn't care less".  But she thought the question was trivial. "To be honest," she concluded, "this is a waste of valuable newspaper space and I couldn't care less."

I personally, COULD care.....use it correctly people!!!

The original idea of the white wedding dress had nothing to do with virginity

The idea that a white wedding dress symbolizes purity or virginity could almost be called an urban legend.  The white dress is a fairly recent tradition that is most often credited to Queen Victoria. When she got married in 1840, she wore white not to symbolize purity, virginity or innocence but to symbolize wealth. Traditionally, a wedding dress was any good dress you had of any color. Queen Victoria chose to wear white because she wanted to convey wealth and class.  Most people didn't have the money to buy one ornate dress that they would only wear once in their life. White dresses were favored by the upper class as a way to show that the bride's family was so wealthy that the bride could choose an elaborate dress that could easily be ruined by any sort of work or spill. 

Even years after that, many brides still did not really wear white to their weddings but chose whatever nice gown they had.  Eventually the trend caught on and people started pinning the idea of purity, virginity and innocence to the white wedding dress.

Irregardless is not a word...or is it?

Irregardless does in fact show up in the dictionary. However, it states that it is "not proper usage of the English language".  It is thought to be a blend of the words irrespective and regardless.  The word is redundant and a double negative.  As you'll eventually find out, I don't got no use for double negatives!

The difference between 'good' and 'well'

Now most of you were probably not lucky enough to have the correct usage beaten into you.  In my family we were just that fortunate! Ok, so maybe we weren't beaten, but it sure felt like a blow every time you were corrected.  Of course I continued down that path and correct others everywhere I go...I can only blame it on my grammatically correct parents.  Darn you Educated Monsters!!!

So here it is:
Good is an adjective.  It is used to modify a noun.
Well is an adverb.  It is used to modify verbs.

Get it? 
No?
Here's the easy way to remember.  A THING is good.  An ACTION is done well.
The dog is good.  That is a good painting.  The pasta is good. What a good steak.
The boy paints well.  She speaks well.  The team played well.

Now there are some other confusing rules dealing with linking verbs, but I don't think I'm going to overwhelm you with that today.  Lets just practice the basics!

Have a GOOD day!! Be WELL!

Ben Franklin was NOT a United States' President!

I get it....Ben was a very popular guy.  His name is definitely more recognizable than some of our actual presidents (Polk, Filmore, Harding??).  But, alas, he never took office. Sure, he did some super cool things.  He was an inventor, a scientist, a postmaster, and a satirist among many other things.  He was present at the signing of the Declaration of Independence and I find that because of this many people associate him with the presidency. (Same seems to go for John Hancock, also NOT a president!) 

Ben did, however earn the title of President of the Supreme Executive Council of Pennsylvania. The office of President of Pennsylvania was analogous to the modern position of  Governor.  Franklin held that office for slightly over three years, longer than any other, and served the Constitutional limit of three full terms.